{balki Blog}
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Man and his wife plan to meet a bunch of other friends at the restaurant.  One friend and his wife come to the table and the wife immediately goes to the restroom while the friend is still settling down at the table…

Man: Why don’t you squeeze in closer so your wife can sit next to you?

Friend: Why would I want to do that?  We work in the same office, we commute in the same car, we live in the same house, and we are even having a baby together!  I don’t want any more of her than I already have…

Friend #2: You might want to rephrase that statement before your wife gets back to the table…

Man: Yes, let me help you with that.  For your own safety, the statement you are going to use will be "I LOVE HER TO DEATH"!

Our man and a bunch of friends go to an exotic Mediterranean restaurant.  Everyone enjoys a sumptuous dinner and its time for dessert.

Aaron, the waiter: Would you like to look at our desserts menu?
Everyone: Yes, please!
He comes back with the dessert tray and explains the names of the various items…
Man: Are these desserts real?
Aaron, the waiter (cautiously): Yes, but you don’t want to eat them since they are almost 3 days stale!
Man: Can I at least LICK some of them?
Aaron, the waiter: !?!%$#?! Let me talk to my manager….

Man is talking to the boss about mid-year performance review..

Boss: So, what have you accomplished in the last 6 months?
Man: Lots of different things; I changed a lot of stuff in the department for the better.
Boss: What kinds of stuff?
Man: So, “stuff” is not specific enough for you?