{balki Blog}
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Man’s neighbor and many others in the community are getting ready for the "community garage sale" over the weekend.  Neighbor’s home is closer to the street within the cul-de-sac and so is more visible to the passers-by.

Neighbor: Are you doing the garage sale this year?
Man: No, but do you mind if I keep some of my stuff in your sale?
Neighbor: Sure, no problem.  What do you have?
Man: Oh, nothing much… just one thing.  Let me go get it…

….

….

…

Man: So, just this sign

Neighbor: Sc**w you %$@#!#$

Man and his geek colleagues have nothing better to do.  So, the conversation steered towards the upcoming new version of iPhone and eventually turned to a discussion on the "dream features" in an iPhone.

Geek Colleague #1: I have been waiting for the GPS for a while; I am so happy Steve decided to include that in the new version.  I have to auction off my current iPhone to get the new one.

Geek Colleague #2: I can’t wait to get my hands on the new version to get on the Internet.  The 3G connection is going to rock!

Geek Colleague #3: Voice recognition and breath analyzer (to measure Blood-Alcohol Level) would be great built-in features for the iPhone.

Man: For me, ClearBlue and lie-detector would be the greatest built-in features in the iPhone Nano;  I am willing to spend major $$, if Steve decides to add those.

Geek Colleagues #1, #2, #3: What the heck!?!@?  Why would you want someone to pee on a beautiful iPhone?

Man: Yes, here’s a scenario…. your partner pees on it to test whether she is pregnant.  And you can immediately use the lie-detector feature to test whether its your baby or not.  Can you find a better device to use than an iPhone, which is always on your hip?

Man goes to Starbucks during the busy hour (which is pretty much anytime of day or night).  He orders his favorite drink (Caramel Machiato) and food (Eggs Florentine).

Barista: Do you want your receipt?
Man: No, that’s fine.
Barista: Oh, but you have been randomly selected to participate in our customer satisfaction survey.  If you complete the survey within 7 days, you will be entered into a drawing for 1000$ cash prize!
Man: No, thank you.  I will pass on the survey.  But I will take the 1000$ in cash.
Barista: Get the hell out of my store!#$@!

Man and his wife go to the hospital for their umpteenth appointment during the pregnancy process.  The receptionist directs them to go meet the "Patient Billing" Clerk (PBC) first.

PBC: So, you get ABC benefits as part of your insurance, your out-of-pocket max is $XYZ … blah blah blah…
Man: Sure, that information is good to know.  Thanks for the heads-up.
PBC: Yes, we also bill you for the entire share of your out-of-pocket expense, around 500$, before your 8th month appointment.  A lot of would-be parents freak out, obviously because the final service (i.e. the baby birth) has not happened yet.  So, we like to tell you that even though you get billed in the 8th month, that money is *NOT DUE* until after the delivery.
Man: I don’t care.  We are very rich!  Do you want me to show you some cash right now?
Wife: Do not listen to what he says or answer any of his questions.  That is why I did not involve him in any part of my pregnancy process.